


Troublemaker

by kabrox18



Category: Doom (Video Games)
Genre: CRACKY BUT STILL IC, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-25 22:25:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16206905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kabrox18/pseuds/kabrox18
Summary: Hayden finds out that "impatience with mortals" is one of the Hellwalker's... less favorable traits.





	Troublemaker

**Author's Note:**

> i swear im not dead + i havent given up on my other stuff yet.

Hayden stares down at Doomslayer, watching the way he staggers the slightest bit, shaking his head in frustration. He slaps the side of his helmet, and glares up at him.

“That’s just a little software update—tether technology to pull you back. Sorry for the… jolt. I doubted you’d take it voluntarily.” More glaring, and he attempts to smooth it over. “I have supplies in my office. This way.” He gestures, then turns to walk away. He can hear the chirp of the medical kiosk nearby while he opens the door, locking the other behind him. He treads in, turning slightly. The Slayer is indeed there behind him, and trails after him at a remarkably patient pace. “Take what you need.”

He goes to the window, letting him wander around and take what he liked. His desk beeped indignantly, though, and he turned from his murmuring to see the Unchained Predator  _ on _ his desk, pawing at a floating model of Mars. He swats it, the desk  _ bleeping _ more at him. He just bats at it again, like he’s trying to knock it off the desk. Another smack and he succeeds, chasing after it and picking it up smugly.

“...What are you  _ doing? _ ” Hayden asks, more confused than anything. He jolts, fumbling the model and eventually dropping it, recoiling in who-knows-what; annoyance, probably. The look he shoots to the Doctor reveals nothing, but he picks the Mars model back up, lobbing it at his head.

With a resounding  _ clunk, _ it bounces off, hits the desk, then rolls off the other side. He  _ whuffs _ a laugh at that, pantomiming the classic point-and-laugh gesture. It was ridiculous, honestly.

“Is there a method behind this madness?” Hayden deadpans. Doomslayer just throws the model at him again. He catches it this time before it hits him, and growls. “Your behavior is nothing short of disappointing.” He goes to set the model back on the magnetic pedestal, but to his dismay, it gets snatched up again. And tossed at him.  _ Again. _ “Enough!” He snaps, swatting it out of the air when it’s chucked at him again. The Hellwalker freezes, just a moment, before making a taunting gesture in front of his face. As if he were sticking his tongue out.

He sighs in aggravation and decides to hurry things up, pulling up a hologram of the Helix Stone. He goes to begin speaking about it, only to witness him playing with something else.

“Put that back!” He turns, wiggles as if he’s  _ laughing,  _ and proceeds to snatch a whole cup of pens. A whole damn cup! Of pens! What use did a killer like him have for pens?! He snatches something else, zips to Hayden.

Before he can really react, there’s a  _ click _ and squeaking, and he can see a mustache on his face plate in the reflection of that blue visor. “You are being  _ incredibly  _ difficult,” he grits out.

However, his mayhem streak didn’t end there, as it became quickly apparent. He overturned a trash bin, shaking with more silent laughter, and pushed all the chairs together. For what, Hayden didn’t know—although he found out when he climbed them to get at a camera, scribbling on the lens with his purloined marker.

Samuel just sighed heavily and sat down, realizing he was helpless to stop the mischievous demon-hunter. Eventually, the Mars model wound up on his lap, Doomslayer perched atop his desk again.

“I’d ask you to get down, but I doubt you’ll listen.”

He  _ nods,  _ the little shit, and pats the Doctor on the head before scooting off to cause more trouble. One of the plants has some of its leaves removed, another knocked over, dirt spilling all over the carpet. The Hellwalker even dares to make  _ eye contact _ as he places one boot on the mess, grinding it in with the ball of his foot.

“Are you done yet?” He demands, only to get another taunting gesture.

_ Why don’t you come stop me?  _ Is the obvious connotation. So he stands, comes around the desk, and attempts to cease his troublemaking.

_ Attempts _ being the key word.

He grasps at air, and feels a poke at his back; he turns and glares as much as he can at him, and tries to snatch him again. No dice. He just ducks his arms, wiggles his fingers in a teasing wave. Again, and again, and again, Hayden attempts to grab him, only to miss in increasingly frustrating ways.

“Why don’t you  _ hold still?! _ ” He hisses, getting fed up very quickly with this utter nonsense. Doomslayer just laughs, leaning back dramatically. Samuel sees his chance and nudges the Hellwalker, tipping him into his ass. He stops laughing and glares up at him, apparently shaken from his amusement. He stands quick and that’s all the opportunity Hayden needs to wrap him in a very tight pseudo-hug, clamping his arms to his sides and effectively trapping him. He writhes, squirming and huffing.

“Now. Let me tell you what you’re going to need to look for, and-AUGH! YOU LITTLE-“ He barks, dropping the soldier after both a nasty headbutt and a kick to his metal shins. He stumbled back, one hand jumping to his faceplate. “That is  _ enough! _ If you’re just going to do this nonsense, get out! You can find Olivia on your own!” He must’ve finally gotten through, because the Slayer tips his head back, looking quite like he was rolling his eyes. He finally goes and sits obediently…

In Hayden’s chair. With the Mars model in hand.

“So, what. You’re keeping that?” He’s too annoyed to sound anything but sarcastic, but he nods, completely seriously. “Where are you going to keep it? In your pockets that I’m sure are packed with ammo?” He shakes his head, holds the model up, and with a few goofy, sleight-of-hand type gestures, makes it disappear. “Congratulations,” he says dryly. “Wonderful magic trick.” Doomslayer seems quite pleased with himself and the mess he’s made, so he taps the console to bring the Helix stone back up, gesturing with a roll of his hand for the Doctor to continue his rambling.


End file.
